Things I love about Raynard

(Just a few... or else you would be here forever!!)

1. His smile :)
2. The way he laughs.
3. How he sings in church, but doesn't pay attention and gets the lyrics wrong.
4. How he plays with the engagement ring on my finger.
5. His crushing hugs.
6. How he loves to read. And all the incredible authors he devours. Challenging and encouraging me. 
7. When he excitedly tells me of all that he is learning about in class and laughs when I get it all wrong. Or attempt to argue with him, just because. 
8. He makes the best chocolate chunk cookies. Actually he is a wonderful baker. (I am a little bit jealous!)
9. How he is "crunchy" reformed. But together we struggle through the questions and hot topics. We are growing!
10. He makes the ordinary, every day, magical.
11. His generosity, honesty and utter faithfulness.
12. He is truly selfless. 
13. The way he teases my sisters, bakes with them, talk to my mom, discusses theology with my dad, walks our dog, and how my family adores him. (Perfect!)
14. How he was the only one that would teach me to drive - and whenever I drive his car he tries so hard to not freak out and just prays like crazy. Still can't believe he gave me a set of my own keys for "our" car!
15. He spoils me with little treats all the time and lets me know that he is constantly thinking of me. He never stops saying "I love you" (and I never get tried of hearing it!)
16. He is open to adventures and is happy to try out new things with me.
17. He makes me breakfast and lunch every single day for varsity, before the sun has risen, and walks me to the train station - for almost two years now!!
18. He is still trying to teach me how to Sokkie.
19. He never complains. And reminds me to be thankful for all the rich blessings and provisions that God has given to us.
20. The way he holds me while we dance around the kitchen.
21. The way he is always calm and keeps my feet on level ground.
22. He loves the beach but hates the sand - like me.
23. He never seems to be afraid. Even when I am terrified. (He also kills spiders and creepy bugs for me without blinking an eye).
24. His perspective - helping me to refocus on what truly matters, what really lasts, what stretches into eternity and to live in that light.
25. His passion for the gospel and mission.
26. His love for apologetics.
27. He gives me the last piece of chocolate, scoop of ice-cream, sip of his hot chocolate. He shares when I am tempted to be greedy and keep it all for myself. 
28. Holding me accountable.
29. He does everything for God's glory.
30. He cooks, he cleans, he gardens, he does laundry, he is able to fix almost anything, it's every girl's dream!
31. The way he can fall asleep just like that. And almost every time we watch a movie.
32. Related: what his hair looks like when he wake up - it's adorable :)
33. His gentle care, knowing what I need when I don't even realize it, always making me feel better.
34. He makes the best toasted cheese sandwiches. And tea!
35. He is slow to get angry and quick to forgive.
36. His love is overwhelming, gracious, undeserved.
37. He loves food just as much as I do :D
38. He has turned me into a coffee addict.
39. How he is trying to convert me to love his favourite sports - cycling, cricket, rugby - but doesn't mind if I just don't get it, or would rather read a book.
40. His talent in taking the most spectacular, insightful photographs that tell a story
41. He put me first, thinks of my best interests constantly, always has a plan, provides for me, makes provision for the future, works so incredibly hard to make it all possible.
42. He makes me feel beautiful, especially when I feel anything but.
43. We dream together. Who could think of anything more amazing than being able to spend the rest of your life with your best friend?!
44. He makes me feel safe.
45. His prayers.
46. Whenever I get angry he just smiles and starts laughing, making me more angry, until I realise how ridiculous I am being and start laughing too :)
47. His sense of humour.
48. His perseverance. He never gives up on me. 
49. His support and strength. 
50. I never realised it would be like this - fully vulnerable before someone, yet fully trusted and accepted by them, loved unconditionally by them, despite your faults. It is wondrous! He has showed me what real love is. Like the love God has shown us in His Son Jesus. 

Happy Anniversary Raynard! Here is to forever.

A weekend with you

My weekend spent with Ray by my side meant: sitting in the glorious sunshine eating ice-cream, dreaming about Summer and lazy days spent at the beach, early mornings at church, in awe of God's indescribable forgiveness, working across from each other, you distracting me, tickling my feet, discussing your assignments with me, fascinated and amazed by who you have become, naps on the couch, baking lemon poppy seed cake, driving with the windows wide open, warm breezes filtering through, trying not to stress for my tests, dancing to Matthew Mole, family Sunday lunch spent under the blazing sun, wearing flip flops, laughing while the ice cubes in our glasses melt, discussing wedding plans,  playing with the dog, prayers for strength and focus, making plans, counting the days till graduation... busy times lie ahead, the end of the year, with all its challenges and adventures, rushing upon us whether we are ready or not, wondering if we will make it, but depending not on ourselves... 

hands held

Tightness. Suffocation. Gasping for air, struggling to breathe. Choked with tears and sorrow.

But then he holds my hands. We bow our hands. We pray.

And suddenly... I can breathe again. 

The Valley of Vision

This is my favourite prayer of all time - every time it's words pass my lips tears are brought to my eyes. It's beauty and perfect expression reflect the heart. Full of hard truths and glorious comforts. It is called "The Valley of Vision" written by the Puritans: 

"Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, 

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, 

where I live in the depths 

but see Thee in the heights; 

hemmed in by mountains of sin 

I behold Thy glory. 

Let me learn by paradox 

that the way down is the way up, 

that to be low is to be high, 

that the broken heart is the healed heart, 

that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, 

that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, 

that to have nothing is to possess all, 

that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, 

that to give is to receive, 

that the valley is the place of vision. 

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, 

and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine; 

let me find Thy light in my darkness, 

Thy life in my death, 

Thy joy in my sorrow, 

Thy grace in my sin, 

Thy riches in my poverty, 

Thy glory in my valley."