Bride-to-be!

Last night's Bride-to-be celebrations - we laughed, we ate and ate and ate, we gushed, we embarrassed,  we blushed, we "awww'ed", we rejoiced, we covered our eyes, we shared in sweet moments, we teased, we huddled under blankets, we drank hot chocolate with marshmallows, we sang Taylor Swift, we saw her dance, we witnessed the love of two beautiful people with the Bride-to-be glowing with happiness and excitement, we had an amazing time!!

Thank-you to all the lovely ladies that made it possible! 

(Photographs taken by the phenomenal Vicki)

Love is in the air

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” 
{Dr. Seuss}

I want to congratulate my beautiful best friend on her engagement - a true prince and princess proposal (Hearing the romantic, enchanting story, perfect for them, made me want to cry!) We wish you all the happiness in the world!   Your overflowing joy and indescribable excitement for your upcoming wedding makes everyone around you smile :) I understand completely (dances, screams, cries, sings, jumps up and down, hugs you again and again!) You are simply glowing. I am humbled at the honor of being able to serve you in this most special time, it is a privilege being able to share in these precious memories! It is just wonderful! (AHHH!!! You are getting married!!!) All our love,  prayers and God's richest blessings!  

Mission of marriage?

"Love is action and not emotion."

Marriage is mission - our purpose is to reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride the church, to be sanctified, growing more into the likeness of Christ, built on the Gospel, proclaiming the Gospel together, perfect, harmonious unity like that of the Trinity, God and His glory at the centre, our love for Him the basis for it all. 

Simply put? It was designed, graciously gifted to us by God, to give us glimpses of His wonderous plan of redemption, reconciliation and restoration, to display the sort of complete and sacrificial love that He has for us shown by Jesus' death on the cross, the process for us for us to be made holy, not necessarily "happy", but to be sanctified, humble, and grow in our dependence on God, who alone can bring true and lasting joy and fulfilment!

A fairytale wedding

This weekend I went to a magical, fairytale wedding. It felt as though I had awoken in another time and place. Set in Betty's Bay, the mountain behind us, clouds tumbling over, and the sparkling ocean spreading out before us - stunning! 

The day was one of wild lavender and white roses, 

vintage leather suitcases,

old fashioned bicycles with woven baskets overflowing with flowers,

antique books tied with ribbons and lace,

strands of glistening pearls,

hanging gilded bird cages swaying softly in the cool breeze, 

lawn games of bowls and croquet,

girls in dresses twirling parasols,

glass bottles filled with berries, cloudy lemonade, cream soda and vanilla rooibos,

flirtatious waiters with trays of delicacies,

throwing red rose petals up into the air at a radiant couple,

horses galloping in the meadow,

glowing candles,

a jukebox, 

a first kiss, a first prayer, a first dance,

afrikaans speeches and not understanding anything,

clinking glasses of bubbly champagne,

God's glory,

endless teasing and having an amazing time with old friends,

smiles, laughter and much, much love <3

Wishing Phillippe and Marbe a wonderful, Christ honouring marriage! 

"Take God on a date"

Here are a few more quotes from the next chapter of "Boundaries in dating":

• "It is good to want a spiritually based relationship. Your relationships with God is the deepest, most profound, and most important part of your soul.If relationship is about connecting all of ourselves to another, then the spiritual aspect is inconceivably significant . So we all yearn for a person that we can be one with, all the way down to the core self, where God resides also. In fact, God designed our need to connect." 
• "Through many experiences, conversations, and questions, we settle in on a person who loves God as we do, one who can help us grow even closer to Him."
• "The issue is not how to fit our spiritual life into our dating life; rather, it is how to fit our dating life into our spiritual life."
• "Life and love are God's gifts under His domain." 
• "The One who designed emotional connections knows best conducted, in a way that is satisfying for us and glorifying to Him."
• "It is good to offer our dating life as part of the living sacrifice that helps submit all aspects of our lives to God's order for our existence. The more our lives are surrendered to Him, the more He is able to fashion out lives as we were meant to be." 
• "The alternative to surrender in dating is idolatry." 

Daring to be different

I have started reading a book called "Making dating work: Boundaries in dating" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. It is a Christian book to help guide one on the smoothest possible road between singleness and marriage. It addresses the major problems that often occur in dating: issues of freedom, responsibility and maturity (self-control, godliness and purity) Here are a few quotes, from the introduction and first chapter - on boundaries and the line of truth: 

• "Boundaries are 'property lines' which define and protect you - your emotions, values, behaviours and attitudes." 
• "Boundaries help you be yourself and not lose yourself in someone else." 
• "Where there is deception there is NO relationship - truthfulness is everything."
• "Honesty is the bedrock of dating and marriage." 
• "It is one thing to have loved and lost, but it is another thing to have loved and been lied to." 
• "Do not lead someone on or allow them to deceive themselves by anything that you are doing." 
• "Lying about reality places your relationship on shaking ground."
• "In reality, a conflict-free relationship is probably a shallow relationship." 
• "People who can handle confrontation and feedback are the ones who can make relationships work." 
• "Honesty over hurt and conflict create intimacy, and it also divides people into the wise and foolish." 
• "Dating is not the place to rehabilitate someone." 
• "If your dating partner is not clear about feelings, thoughts or some other indirect communication, demand it." 
• If someone lies to you: "look at the level of repentance and change - how significantly is the person pursuing holiness and purity."

#boundariesindating

A relationship is always changing and growing, but its foundation must be secure. For dating to be a success it takes great, hard work, and must be done in a Christ-honouring, God-glorifying way: the way He created it to be - lovely, wonderful, amazing...! Without the hurt and heartache of selfish love that the world sells... 

Daring to be different in how I love...

"The art of marriage"

Tonight my person and I attended a workshop called "The art of marriage." Besides being beyond hilarious at times, it was insightful and very challenging. Here are a few thoughts from the evening:

"The woman may be freaking-out, but the man is freaking-in! So before it becomes a freaking mess, grab her hands and pray!"

"The woman becomes the crocodile and the man the caveman..." 

"Your differences compliment each other, don't let them bring conflict. God created marriage to be 'togetherness' - becoming one, an unbreakable connection, and not emotional distance or isolation."

"The heart of the problem is the problem is the heart."

"You are marrying a sinner - so plan for sin!" 

"Marriage is God's idea - not man's. It is a gift! A union that reflects God's love for us, demonstrated in the selfless act of sending His Son (the cross!) - the ultimate portrayal of love."

"Love is self-denial. Sacrifice." 

"Basis for a marriage: spiritual partnership, friendship, intimacy. Your spouse is God's instrument to help you, to encourage you in your faith."

"We try to change our spouse into the image of ourselves - because we love ourselves the most! But God's goal for marriage is to transform us, using each other, into the image of His Son!" 

[Or something like that - my memory starts to fail be past midnight!] Relationships are full of love, patience, pain, hurt, failure, forgiveness, joy, pleasure, loyalty, trust and hard HARD work... I'm excited for the future!

But one quick last thought: Never enter into a relationship for a sort of happiness, or sense of fulfilment and purpose. No one can complete you or make you whole. People can not bring you ultimate meaning or belonging. Relationships do not cure loneliness. People WILL fail you... but God NEVER will! He is faithful and true, eternal and unchanging. He IS love. You were created first and foremost for a relationship with Him (and then with others) for He ALONE can bring true purpose and fulfilment, our Creator, our Heavenly Father...

 

 

 

A ballerina's happy ending

Today in dance class a fellow dancer, a ballet teacher, told us that spontaneously, on Spring day, she and her long time boyfriend got married! Just like that! She was glowing with happiness, radiating joy, flushed with shy pride. Her ring is simply beautiful - full of sparkly diamonds and rubies...

[And the urge to elope grows... good thing my person is away!]