Curiosity

"Drawn by curiosity and eager desire, wishing to see the various and strange shapes made by nature, I wandered some distance among gloomy, overhanging rocks, coming to the entrance of a large cave. I stood in front of it for some time, kneeling and shading my eyes, stupefied and amazed, for I did not have prior knowledge of its existence. Suddenly, two things arose in me - fear and desire. Fear of the menacing darkness of the cave, and desire to see if there was any marvelous thing inside it."

{From the notebook of Leonardo Da Vinci} 

The view from the walkway

This afternoon my person and I headed down to Victoria Bay to meet up with one of our all time amazing, wonderful, favourite persons (and her awesome sister too)...

[Watching the shadows stretch down the walkway as the sun slowly sinks behind the mountain and the misty sea breeze soften the lush green of the hills, taking us to another time and place]

 [The beautiful Sea Gypsy*]

 [Perspective - finding joy in the little things, beauty in the ordinary everyday]

[Seriously, can sisters be more stunning?? Loved hearing of the spectacular adventures of life in India!!]

 [SA Varisty championships, or something like that - running into old friends, watching the swells come in, growing larger and larger, hearing the horn blow at the end of each round, the surfers walking out on the rocks, the waves roaring, the sun setting - feels like vacation]

[Nothing like catching up with the best of friends - laughing, filling in the lost time, hearing of the excitement of the future, eating milk tart (and messing milk tart), making plans for the weekend, feeling as though nothing has changed - which is kind of the best feeling of all right?]

{http://rddesignphoto.tumblr.com/post/26014204003/friends-and-stroll-by-the-beach}

stepping forward

"No one will ever know that I have to pretend to ease, pretend to confidence, pretend to grace. Of course I am afraid. But I will never, never show it. And when they call my name I will always step forward."

{The Constant Princess - Philippa Gregory} 

God's undeniable glory

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word "darkness" on the walls of his cell."

{CS Lewis} 

Carefree

[At Wilderness Beach with Tigger for the very first time!]

[The cool mist rose off the foaming waters with the mountains rising up out of the sand, no one in sight, so peaceful, so calm within] 

[I remember summer vacations as a child spent at Carmel: those early sunrise swims at Victoria Bay, hiking down the Cayman's River pass, climbing up the rocks and jumping off the waterfalls, surrounded by lush, green beauty, feeling that wonderful 'relaxed' holiday feeling] 

[Leaning back to find you there, your strong arms wrapped around me, feeling so safe, so secure, then holding your hand as we walk slowly down the beach, splashing in the waves, Tigger adorably afraid of the water, collecting seashells, then wiping the sand off our feet, with a sleeping puppy finally still... then off to the park, rousing the puppy to play and eating ice-cream... licking sticky caramel off our fingers, trying not to slip in the mud, smelling the fresh pine needles, feeling like we had not a care in the world]

A taste of summer!

How to make a very yummy berry ice-cream*

Take 2 punnets of berries: strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, cherries, blackberries! Place them in a pot with some water and castor sugar and boil to soften, until it creates a sort of syrup with the berries still whole.

Whip up some double cream while in a separate bowl until smooth and thick, careful not to overwhip it.

Add the berry mixture to the whipped cream.

Slice up a firm, tart fruit, such as a nectarine or peach, and add to the cream mixture.

To add a sweet crunch, crush some meringues into the cream mixture.

Slowly fold the mixture over to marble the cream with the berries, syrup, fruit and meringues. Gently scoop the cream mixture into a freezer proof bowl and allow to freeze for at least four hours before you enjoy your summer berry medley ice-cream! 

Blinded.

There are times when I become so blind to all that I have and find myself fixated only on what I do not have. Yes, I realise that this is self-obsessed, immature thinking, and I do feel deeply ashamed of my grumbling attitude. But when I’m in the centre of this self-pity I can only see myself.

It is hard when I have a million hopes and secret dreams, these little plans that I am working to put into action in the future... and then suddenly I hear of someone else doing the exact same thing – feeling like they have stolen something fragile and precious from me. I pray for patience as I wait and wait and wait... but then I hear someone else complaining one minute but then the next getting exactly what they complained about (what I too have been so desperately waiting for...) It is not easy to celebrate in a friend’s happiness when yours seems so far away. You attempt a smile while blinking back bittersweet tears, congratulate them while feeling only angry at yourself for your betraying feelings. It is difficult when someone seems to get whatever they want, all their dreams can come true with the swipe of a card – money is no object, when I have to struggle to save any penny I get, worried, working so, so hard for my future, having to cut off here and there and everywhere parts of my dream because I will never be able to afford it.

While I truly know that none of this matters and how incredibly childish it is to think like this, it doesn’t always convince my heart otherwise. I know that none of it lasts, it fades away, and most importantly, in the light of eternity it is all insignificant... but ultimately my heart needs to change.

This is where my person comes in: he keeps me calm, he wipes me tears, whispers reassurances, reminds me of the millions of things I have to be thankful for. He shares in these burdens and together we pray and deal with the pressures, the worries, the uncertainties, while he holds my hand as we plan, with God’s guidance, our future. God will provide (He always has!) and He is forever faithful – we must simply (!) trust in Him. Yes, this does sometimes mean letting go of selfish desires, even dreams that seem to be so very important. No, I will not get everything I want, but if I’m honest, I really shouldn’t – it would only lead to a twisted sort of arrogant, self-reliance and an ugly pride. My person keeps my eyes of Jesus, focussed on what has everlasting value, giving me perspective, because I have come to realize that I struggle with coveting – wanting what others have – and I have placed “stuff” (actual rubbish) in the place of God.

Nothing will ever be able to compare to the indescribably greatest gift of all time: God’s Son. By God’s grace my eyes have been opened – it is not about me but all about Him. Remembering that makes all the difference. 

lazy winter days

[Roadtripping up to see my person's family after we picked up his parent's surprise birthday present - a puppy!]

 [The changing views from our car window - mountains rising high, rolling green fields, others shorn golden yellows and rich oranges from harvest, thick forests with swiftly flowing rivers, orchards bare of fruit - their branches swaying in the wind, tractors rumbling alongside the winding roads, sheep with playful lambs dotting the countryside, cattle grazing, a lone hawk soaring far above, watching the clouds get dark and heavy, driving through the falling rain...]

[A warm puppy asleep on my lap after stopping for the most delicious homebaked pies at a roadside farm stall in a small village - flaky, buttery pastry, filled with yummy goodness, sipping hot coffees and nibbling on little treats taking shelter under an abandoned gas station, rain dripping and dripping down...]

[Everyone has fallen in love with this adorable, playfully naughty, tiny puppy - and he loves his new family!]

[Our lazy days have been filled with taking "Tigger" for walks, sleeping blissfully late, cuddling up, warm in bed, bundled under blankets with books and a sleeping Tigs, becoming obsessed with Star Wars, making dinner for the family, laughing around the breakfast table eating flapjacks with syrup and bacon, listening to "Moonlight Sonata" as the rain quietly falls on an icy winter's evening, eating toffees, driving late at night to go and buy our favourite sweets and then eating them all on the way home, wandering the mall hand-in-hand looking at glittering diamonds, the dreams of the future becoming a tender reality*]

 [Lying together on the grass in the fading sunshine, admiring God's glorious creation and the beautiful sunsets]

 [Dancing in the firelight, swirling and twirling, happiness bursting forth - thank-you Lord!]

dear daddy*

Wishing my dad and very happy father's day! I am truly blessed to have such an incredible dad as you, kind, eternally patient, unconditionally loving, godly beyond belief, gentle yet firm, disciplining us in a world that pushes for freedom without boundaries, but most of all I just want to say thank-you for teaching us the Word of God, always pointing us to our Father in Heaven, for making Christ the centre of our family. For as long as I can remember I can hear you reading the Bible to us at the dinner table, leading us daily in family devotions, I remember us praying each evening together, kneeling with my little hands clasped, amazed at your wisdom and quiet passion for the cross and standing in awe of your great depth of understanding of the Word. You have made it a joy and privilege to grow up in such a household, reflecting my Heavenly Father, personifying Him in with your life. 

Gathering the mists of my memories - a collection of happenings*

Perhaps one last post, looking back on this past semester, before tomorrow's new adventure begins!

Every story is a collection of happenings. Here is what I am able to remember, gathered from the mists of my memories...

[Distant summer weekends spent at the beach]

[Waiting at the train station, in your arms, watching the sun rise]

[The views from my train window]

[Rainbows over the ocean]

[Making every possible mistake in the lab, being the last to leave, but laughing the whole way through]

[The lights shining from Jameson Hall, walking up those frozen steps, so quiet, just before an exam]

[Exploring the mountains with my best friends]

[Standing on top of the world]

[Olympia cafe - every week after church]

[Spending time with old and new friends]

[When something small makes you smile]

[Growing to love you more and more every single day, in the million little things you do for me, so selfless, so incredibly wonderful, humbled and amazed, forever thankful]

[The Annex - weekend breakfasts with my best friend, sitting at our favourite table, rediscovering our neighbourhood, hearing the click of the camera, eating the most delectable treats, wandering through antique book stores, vintage boutiques, you spoiling me, dreaming of the future, pure happiness]

[Contentment - walking the dog with you]

[Tribeca - out with the family, out with friends, out with my best friend - gourmet burgers, toffee coffees, white hot chocolates, red velvet cheesecake, but best of all the conversations]

[Endless hours spent in the hushed silence of the library, using every last ounce of energy to study, study, study]

[Warm days means that the whole family gets together for a barbecue]

[Loving my parents - grateful for everything]

[When my beautiful sister came to visit from South Korea for just a few days - the smiles, the laughter, the stories, the busiest week of going out here and there having the most fun!]

[Walking across campus every morning, feeling at peace]

[Day dreaming on my train rides home]

[Eating The Creamery's most amazing ice-cream on a lovely winter's day]

[Watching the seasons change, beautiful golden yellow, burnt orange, fiery red Autumn leaves fall, dancing through their rustling carpet, under bare Winter branches, rain falling down and down and down]

[Home]

But what about those late, late nights spent studying for exams, or the Easter weekend spent with you, or sitting and cheering for our friends riding the Cape Argus, or all those photoshoots spent at your side, the time spent with friends, those spectacular sunsets walking along the beach, meeting new people, overcoming fears and learning to trust again and again in God alone,  those prayers, our evenings at Bible study, being encouraged, those times we sat on Jammie steps in the sunshine, catching up, eating lunch, those moments spent whispering on the couch, or cuddled warm in bed, under piles of blankets, indulging in chocolate and tea, reading book after book as the rain pours outside, laughing in lectures, baking our favourite chocolate chip cookies, being a part of Youth, those dark times of feeling alone, forgotten, disheartened, you hugging me so tenderly that I want to cry, making toasted sandwiches and mugs of steaming soup, and so many other happenings, so many others...