A new year

My eternal hope and security, my firm foundation for the New Year: 

" Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." 

{Hebrews 13:8} 

forgotten

Forgotten. Left behind. She felt as though she was alone in the world. Separated. Isolated. Forgotten.

It seemed as though she stood still while the world had continued to spin around and around, time ticking on and on... while she remained motionless. The sun rose. The sun set. And she stood still.

She struggled to find her place, where she belonged. She saw all her loved ones having a brilliant time - without her. Was she waiting for invitations that would never come? Did they not remember? Did they not know that she was stuck, lost, forgotten...?

Tears flowed, sorrow overwhelmed, loneliness washed over her - its waves relentless, crashing and tumbling over her, again and again. The water was cold while the sun shone on. The waves kept coming and coming,  drowning her in furious self pity. The anger within her raged, a dark swirling mass of bitterness and hatred. It filled her, choking her, ripping at her heart. The wind howled - its icy, skeletal crawls piercing her. She huddled in a heap - vulnerable, insecure, crying.

But then he came along. He was cruel in his clarity and compassion. He made her see that she was the one who had forgotten. She had forgotten her friends. She had forgotten what real love is: self-giving, selflessness, self-sacrifice. He made her take her eyes off of herself and to look to others first. She had to be a friend to have a friend. She dried her tears and took a step .forward - no more waiting The storm had passed.

When dreams become reality*

Six long weeks. Forty-two long days. One thousand and eight long hours. Sixty thousand, four hundred and eighty long minutes. Three million, six hundred and twenty-eight thousand, eight hundred long seconds.

Today was the three week marker of my separation from my person.  Sometimes, out of nowhere, breath-taking pain pierces me, the acute heartache of being away from the one you love...

We all daydream - have fantasies of our loved ones suddenly, unexpectedly, most wonderfully showing up and surprising you. This is EXACTLY what happened to me today!! (It is difficult to even begin to express how amazing it was!)

It had started out as any other, totally ordinary, blandly normal day - no indication that this day would soon become incredible.

I had been texting my person, back and forth, all morning - nothing unusual - until he texted me picture of my front gate. My heart skipped a beat. Tears sprung to my eyes. I went hot and cold all over. (Disbelief!) "It is not possible, how can this be, he must have...?" incoherent thoughts tumbled about unfinished in my confused mind. BUT then I heard the doorbell ring... I froze, for all of a hundreth of a second, before I ran to the door, threw it open and incredulously found my person standing there.. just standing there smiling!!

Throwing myself into his arms, endless hugs, being kissed breathless, being covered completely in total happiness, indescribable joy ensued :) The best possible surprise I could have ever hoped for*

A day spent with my person and his family, holding his hand as we move through the crushing crowds, feeling so special and cared for, browsing through the shops together, laughing at lunch, splashing in the pool, my waist encircled as we watch the sun set behind the mountain in the cooling evening, saying goodbye with hope in our hearts... I cannot say THANK-YOU enough!!

To my person - I love you with all my heart <3 And thank-you for today, when my dream became a reality*

The Christ in Christmas

"For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

{Isaiah 9:6}

Christmas memories*

T'was the night before Christmas... 
(My memories of today - as a list!) 

1. Whistling Christmas carols and dancing around the kitchen.
2. Doors thrown wide open, summer sunshine streaming in, a cool breeze blowing.
3. Helping my mom cook the most elaborate and scrumptious Christmas feast - heaps upon heaps of delectable goodness - learning how to cook the meals that I will one day be making for my family :)
4. Putting our feet up, sneaking in some chocolate, while our mouths water over Nigella and Jamie on the tellie. 
5. Fingers stained with berry juice, licking sticky, sugary caramel, creamy custard and mounds of whipped cream (making a summer trifle!) 
6. Attempting to stuff more "stuff" in already packed fridges... 
7. Wishing friends "A very Merry Christmas!" - spreading the cheer! 
8. A thousand twinkling fairy lights and a million candles scattered across the room*
9. Red and gold, deep purple and silver. 
10. Busyness, busyness, busyness!!! Running around here and there and everything - doing so much, yet at the same time doing nothing in particular at all.
11. Thinking how strange it has been to spend half of my Christmases throwing snowballs, cuddling by a roaring fire, trying to dry out wet mittens, baking chocolate chip cookies and shopping up a spree of magical presents, while the other half have been spent lazy and warm, swimming at the beach, watching the sunset late at night, drinking champagne and ice tea. 
12. Hearing my mother shout into the phone, wishing all our German family a  "Frohe Weihnachten" - loving my family heritage and traditions.
13. My father reading the birth narrative. 
14. Food! Turkey, glazed gamon, roasted lamb, Mediterranean couscous salad, potato, green and pasta salads, fresh bakery breads with soft cheeses, nutty, herby stuffing, cranberries and apple sauce, chocolate fudge sauce drizzled over New York cheesecake, sweet and tart berry trifle, sweet, sparkling drinks.....  
15. Ripping open beautiful wrapped gifts - excitement! 
16. Surrounded with the most incredible family and friends <3
17. Late night phonecalls with my person (liefde!) 
18. Thinking that all the hard work, all the hours, all the effort was beyond worthwhile :)
19. Falling exhausted into bed, a smile on my face, my heart stirred with memories, my dreams full of hope and happiness, thinking about tomorrow.... Christmas day!

The miracle of Christmas

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a Son, and they will call Him Immanuel - which means God with us."

 {Matthew 1:23}

A thousand years*

My favourite song of the day (edited):  

Heart beats fast 

Colours and promises 

How to be brave 

How can I love when 

I'm afraid to fall 

But watching you stand alone 

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow 

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid

I have loved you

For a thousand years 

I'll love you for a thousand more 

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is 

I will be brave 

I will not let anything take away 

What's standing in front of me 

Every breath 

Every hour has come to this 

 One step closer 

And all along I believed I would find you 

Time has brought your heart to me 

I have loved you for a thousand years 

I'll love you for a thousand more

{Christina Perri - A thousand years}