Among the vineyards

On my first day of Summer vacation I awoke to light streaming through my curtains. The ocean was a glorious shade of blue, with only a faint breeze blowing, promising to be a lovely, lovely day! 

Breakfast at Tribeca - yummy eggs benedict with salmon and hollandaise sauce, warm croissants with melting butter, sweet and sticky jam, tart cranberry juice, fried bacon, cappuccinos, even cheesecake! - with family and friends, before we headed off to begin wedding venue hunting!

We visited winefarm after winefarm after winefarm... it was wonderful! The experience was one of overwhelming exhaustion and excitement. With the sun blazing above us, we wandered about, speaking with event co-ordinators, meeting chefs, looking through photographs, resting under the dappled shade of towering trees, drove along winding roads, shared ideas, enjoyed the day away... 

My only wish? As long as I am "Mrs Sims" by the end of the day I will be happy (VERYVERYVERY happy!) 

Happiness ahead

Summer vacation. Months of Summer vacation have arrived!! 

I wrote my last wearying exam today and have already packed stacks of notes, books, files and textbooks away in my cupboard, not to be seen until next year (YES!!) The 3am mornings, many, many nights in a row, while quietly studying, I would glance up and gaze at the proteas Ray gave me, and smile, knowing that soon we would be on vacation together, filled with beach days, lazy Sunday afternoon naps, sunshine picnics, eating melting ice-cream, having not a care in the world... 

I cannot even begin to express my thanks... for all those who have walked beside me this year. For Ray, sunrise to sunset and beyond, holding me when I was too tired to hold myself up, praying when I had no words left to say, wiping my tears when I had almost given into despair, making me laugh when I didn't think I could. The constant, secure, all-encompassing, unconditional love of a best friend truly works a miracle each and every single day. Love you babe, would have never made it without you. 

And my family. Oh my wonderful family! Last night my dad said, "So apparently you're having a bit of a brain malfunction?" (They had obviously heard of my ritual pre-exam meltdown) But this afternoon, when I had returned, he said, "Looks like we have some sunshine in the house again!" (HEY!!) 

But most importantly, my Heavenly Father. When I look back on this year, all the beautiful happenings, more than I could have ever dreamed possible, life just getting better and better each moment, in the midst of challenges, stretching us, breaking us, growing us... He has sustained and He has blessed. He is so incredibly good. 

Varsity may be over for the year, but the busyness does not stop! At the moment Ray is writing his final FINAL exams (he graduates in just days!!), his family will be coming down to Cape Town (YAY!), there are end-of-year events to attend, Christmas socials, my best friend's wedding (CANNOT WAAAAIT!!) and my very own WEDDING PLANNING to do!! Exciting things are happening everyone, very exciting things :)

For the first time in months I have raided my mom's library bag and am reading a novel in bed. I am crying I am so happy. Oh sweet, exhausting relief. 

Goodnight :)

Daydreaming

{I fluctuate between utter exhaustion (upcoming exams) and uncontainable excitement for my very own wedding planning! I am honestly trying to focus on my work, but my mind keeps drifting... studying is rather mundane compared to daydreaming about my all beautiful plans we have for our day of love (sigh), soon...}

An unexpected adventure

This morning began like any other day. I came rushing down the stairs a little bit late, found Ray in the kitchen making me breakfast and left soon afterwards to walk down to the train station, a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice in my hand because I hadn't had enough time to drink it.

Ray and I watched the sun rise into the clear Spring sky over the rippling ocean. All was cool and calm... but it wouldn't stay that way! 

The six-thirty train pulled up to the platform and I got on as per usual. Several stations later, less than halfway of where I needed to be going, the train came to a halt. Still nothing unusual here in South Africa. I realise that I really do spend a lot of time complaining about the hours I spend riding the train, but the constant delays, cancellations, waiting, running after and missing trains, can become wearying. 

It is after a ten minute standstill that people were beginning to become annoyed, muttering and swearing. Every now and again the train would jerk forward, roll backwards, hop another inch along. From my window I watched passengers walking by, shouting, but having no idea what was happening. I was sitting with a group of UCT students, the familiar faces that I recognised from catching the train each day. We were trying to decide what we should do, as it didn't seem that we were going anywhere any anytime quickly! Out came the phones, texting and calling friends, attempting to put together a plan to mission it to varsity.

The real excitement only began after almost an hour of sitting... The connecting door between the first carriage and ours was thrown open and people started streaming in, screaming, "Get out, OUT!! There is smoke!!" And it smelled terrible, acrid, like burning tires and some sort of metal... Immediate panic set in as passengers stood and rushed forward, crushing through the narrow aisle. I fought to stay calm, I couldn't see any flames, but being trapped in a possibly dangerous area with no escape, as all the doors were firmly locked (and there was NO WAY I could fit through the window!) was scary.

That was it, time to go. We moved from carriage to carriage looking for a way out. Our only exit was jumping off from between the carriages. With the help of complete, but kind strangers, I passed my bag down to an unknown man waiting below, and climbed over the barrier, heart pounding, hands holding me steady when the train suddenly shook and my legs even more, warning me, "Don't touch the cables! Put your foot there... hold onto that railing..." and, with no platform below, JUMPED!! (The drop is a LOT higher than it looks!) I turned around and grabbed the next girl's bag, helping her down, until the group of us, some whose names I do not know, were safe. (But hey, we're students, and students do crazy things right?!)

As the last boy leapt, a man shouted, "CLEAR THE TRACKS!!" as the train stuck behind ours was about to start pushing the stuck train along. Apparently our train wasn't able to move because there was a great risk of setting the first carriage alight...!! In the past hour our train had moved less than a hundred metres, we could still see the platform of the station we had "left". 

We walked along the train tracks with scores of others, to the next train station, where one of the girl's brother gave a lift through to varsity. We squashed in, retold, complained and laughed about our unexpected adventure :) 

We arrived safely at UCT at nine, with one of my new friends saying, "Our train caught on fire and we only missed one lecture!!"  

I am not the most patient person, but I realised that becoming angry or upset about this incident is just pointless, a waste of enegry and emotion, as my frustration would not have changed anything. Instead I just sat back, took a deep breath, and decided to enjoy all the drama. I also kept thinking, "This is such a great story! I can't wait to tweet about this, to Facebook about it, to blog about it!" (Laughs) I will say, though, that I am very glad that my train did not burst into flames on the ride home :)

My birthday backstage :)

Living this past week... the lovely engagement, exams, my birthday and the dance show...!! (I feel like all my dreams have come true, and are coming true, and so much more!) I have had an AMAZING twenty-first birthday!! Thank-you for all the kind messages :)

I had the most fun eating cupcakes with crazy friends at varsity, talking about my wedding (AHHH!!! Still can't believe how fantastic they have been - their joy for us makes me want to cry!!), receiving LOTS of hugs, laughing till it hurts, getting drenched in the rain and riding the train home together... Then it was time for pizza with my fiance and snuggling up, with blankets and feather pillows, to watch a movie - the best way to spend a birthday :)

Next it was off to perform the opening night of Expressions!! My beautiful fellow Grace Dance Company dancers surprised me with balloons, a bouquet of stunning roses and chocolate (yay!!) just before the curtain was about to go up :)

 Nothing like being in the dressing rooms before a show - the anticipation, the nerves, the excitement, helping each other with our liquid eyeliner, false eyelashes and tying ribbons in our hair. We are sisters. It was such an honour to be on the same stage as them - the hours spent in rehearsal and months of hard work, struggling together, knowing each other's strengths and weaknesses, seeing growth, the passion we all share for dancing, how we have to depend on each other, the vulnerability,  the love we have...  

No feeling like waiting in the wings... waiting for the blinding lights, the curtain, the music... your heart flutters!! It is a rush, a feeling of thrill and fear flowing through you - but you smile and you let go, you dance like you never have before, you want to gasp for breath and collapse from exhaustion but you push past the burning in your muscles, turn faster, kick higher, jump effortlessly... for just this brief moment in time, while you are on stage and the spotlight is on you, you fully express who you are... And afterwards, when the adrenalin slowly seeps from your sore feet and aching bodies, you listen to your pounding heart quieten, it is surreal that it is all over, when your put your soul into each movement... you want to cry, but you are also simply incredibly HAPPY!! 

Tonight, the final performance of Expressions, was wonderful. My family (and fiance!) and dearest friends came to watch the show. It is on closing night, with those you adore the most, that you dance the hardest. I have loved every moment of Expressions - the silliness backstage, the pre-show meetings, the awesome music and lighting, our costumes, the makeup (and the nightmare of trying to remove it all), the friendships, our phenomenal teacher, choreographer and mentor, the quiet moments in the darkened wings, whispered prayers, photograph taking, laughter, tears, performing on stage and hearing the applause and shouts of the audience, the red lipstick and gelled hair, the Jazz, the Tap, the Contemporary, the singing, the video montage, being able to dance with my gorgeous little sister, the quick changes between numbers of stressed dancers, how my friends told me that they could see the diamond of my engagement ring sparkle, holding a scared little girls hand, having fun in the finale, bursting with happiness, pride and thankfulness in being part of a dance studio,  sharing a message, hugs and congratulations after the show, winking at the crowd, the insanity and excitement, the warming up on stage while the curtain is closed and dying for it all to begin...!! These are memories I will cherish forever *

The Proposal!

Today is beautiful and I will cherish it forever!! Here is the proposal and the much awaited details! I will say though, that letting everyone know that you are engaged is a wonderful, never ending, rush - I am hugging friends and talking on the phone to family members, while I am trying to email pictures, tweet about it and skype at the same time! It's an excited blur...

Today began like any other day. When I arrived home from varsity Ray asked me if I would like to go for a walk, like we have done countless times before. The sun was shining high in the sky and a cool breeze was blowing off the ocean. We headed to Silvermine where we had first gone together two years ago, to our favourite place, where it all began :) Walking hand-in-hand, over the wooden walkways, loving how the flowers were beginning to bloom, listening to the rushing waters, talking about nothing in particular. I bent down to dip my fingers into the stream and as I turned around Ray took a black velvet box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. I gasped! (AHHH!!!)

He smiled. I smiled, while wiping tears away, and listened to his heart - words, for me alone to hear, that I will always remember and never let go! When he asked me to marry him I SAID YES!!! (Of course!!) I did not want to leave the embrace of his arms. Sharing this life with my best friend is simply the greatest joy and privilege. I am so thankful, so blessed, so loved that words are just not enough. THANK-YOU LORD! It is God's grace that brought us together, has kept us together, and will keep us together. When Ray prayed tears of overwhelmed, certain happiness flowed. Christ at the centre at the beginning, Christ at the centre through it all, until the end. 

It was just so "us". 

Next came the celebrations of first showing our parents, screaming sisters, hugs and hugs and more hugs, phoning grandparents, a million messages sent, taking and uploading photos, changing statuses (YES!), running around to tell every one in sight, jumping up and down, squealing, laughing, more crying, dancing, lots of uncontrollable gushing and finally having a moment to sit down with Ray, eat chocolate and blog, hands shaking, about it :) My face really hurts so much from smiling so much :D 

In anticipation of your questions: Yes, he asked my dad weeks ago. Yes, I knew it was going to happen and thought perhaps (just maybe) it would be today! We have known for a longggg time that we were going to get married. We had looked at rings and I had tried some on for size a while ago. We had given our design to a jeweller friend of ours a month ago. I wasn't allowed to ask any questions - but each morning, as I came down the stairs to Ray waiting below, I would teasingly ask "Today?" and he would just laugh and kiss me. But when we left for the walk, I noticed that Ray couldn't stop smiling, was acting slightly strange and his hand seemed to be drifting over to his pocket... But I thought to myself, "It's just your imagination, dad is away and it's only my birthday next week... he probably doesn't even have the ring yet..?" Ray had promised to propose before his graduation at the end of the year - so I had been preparing to wait for a little while longer (only a little while though!) Right now I am sort of in a state of ecstatic disbelief, yet calm and sure of it all. I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!!! (Sometimes it feels like my heart is going to explode)

Our families and friends have been amazing - their excitement, encouragement, love, support, wisdom and prayers. We can't wait to have you all involved in planning the wedding with us :) We are eternally grateful - thank-you! We cannot express how much all of your congratulations have meant to us! 

Now I cannot stop staring at my stunning, sparkling diamond and gazing at my handsome, godly, INCREDIBLE fiancé :) I am speechless at how beautiful my ring is and the feel of it (finally!) on my finger is just indescribable!!

Our plans for the future: We will, Lord willing, be getting married at the end of next year when I graduate. Until then I will keep you all posted with our wedding ideas, photographs and all the great stories we will have to share :)

Dreams, and MORE, have come true! I love you Raynard. 

My reason to smile

I have been promising myself to write a lovely, long, thoughtful blog post... but I am just too exhausted (says the sick girl on having had only three hours of sleep last night and a never ending day). I am struggling to remember how this day began, it feels like forever ago! And yet the day still seems far from over... But one more thing before I go to sleep...no matter how tired I am, or how long my days are, I cannot stop smiling... I have butterflies fluttering around every moment, waking or dreaming... I am content to wait. I trust you. (And you have been beyond amazing, as always!) 

And with that I bid you a gentle goodnight*

The life of a dancer

The pain that comes from scabs being repeatedly ripped off, blood smeared across the wooden floors, constant wearying stiffness, burning exhaustion, the pounding of your heart, sweat pouring down your face as you try harder and harder, pushing past the exhaustion, frustrated at your body's weakness, the agony that accompanies each 'effortless' step, and bruises that will last for weeks to come... Yes, the dancing show is rushing upon us and the nerves, the excitement, the anticipation are rising! 

Sunshine smiles

The sun is shining and we are smiling :)

For days I had been anticipating these moments. R and I spend every day together, but we are always so incredibly busy, working side-by-side late into the night, or the painful, early hours of the morning... and I could just not wait to have a day off and spend it relaxing with my best friend.

Even a Genetics test, horrendous practical and delayed trains could dampen my excitement of being able to attend Bible study last night. It is a time of encouragement, of being challenged, grappling to understand God's Word, together being shaped by the truth, asking those difficult questions, honest prayer, feeling awe and thankfulness. But it is also a time of great laughter, teasing one another, catching up, eating way too many chocolates, wrapped in R's warm jacket, a blazing fire place and screaming at the TV cheering our Olympic favourites on... It fills you up. The sense of unity, friendship, accountability and love, we are like a family :)

Something that struck me again last night in discussion... as a believer, I have died with Christ, my sin has been crucified with Him on the cross, and I have been raised to new life, to freedom, not to myself, not to do whatever I so please, not to sin, but to live for God, free to obey Him, to say no to sin and be more like Christ... I am free to live how God originally created humanity to be in the very beginning, to glorify God! 

After a long, dreamless sleep, lazing in warmth and for once getting out of bed only after the sun has risen... ah, wonderful! I celebrated my Women's day with a group of lovely ladies. It was a colour workshop, where you discover what "season" you are - a Summer, Winter, Autumn or Spring. Mounds of fabrics where draped over us, comments of "Oh, that looks awful!" or "Wow, that makes you glow!" ensued with much love and laughter. Then tea with nutty, chocolate Texas brownies and decadent New York cheesecake, standing on the balcony overlooking the most glorious view of endless, deep blue ocean stretching before us, high up on the mountain with the whole bay far below, the white sails of the boats twinkling in the distance. 

I have been enjoying the sun with R, loving these stolen hours, just grateful. But the day is only going to get better with a family barbecue :) Happy Thursday!